Fish and chips, unlike revenge, is not a dish best served cold. In fact, cold chips, unlike cold pizza, is a meal fit only for seagulls. For this reason, Matt rarely gets to sample fish and chip takeaways unless they are quite close to his home town of Ryde, and he can take the food home to eat before it congeals.

So die-hard Matt and Cat aficionados will be interested to note that this time he's ventured beyond the Island's north-east quarter, as far as southerly Ventnor. And if you think that's surprising enough, you haven't heard the half of it. This time, his trusty fish-and-chip-eating companions Bill and Jack were not accompanying him, nor was he alone. Yes, friends, it's finally happened, Cat has been into a fish and chip shop.

M & C were staying in Ventnor and, in need of a quick meal, decided to make for the nearest takeaway. When this turned out to be the popular and highly-recommended Ocean View, perched high above the town on the edge of Lowtherville, Cat - normally reluctant to consider chip shops as a source of food - showed no sign of wavering in her determination to get a hot dinner, and so into the bright little shop the duo went.

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The famously mis-spelt Long John Eater has spawned a sidekick - and Ryde Esplanade has gained another fish and chip counter.

The Little John Eater is more than a counter opening onto the esplanade - but not a great deal more. For sit-down meals there's the Long John next door, but this new place is obviously intended to soak up some passing trade on that crucial junction at the bottom of Union Street. At such high-exposure locations the temptation must surely be to sell poor quality food in high volumes. Certainly other chip shops in comparable places seem to do this and little else. After all, if your visitors are all day-trippers who might not return for another year, if at all, is there any incentive to cook decent fare?

Because of this effect, Matt and Cat have a rule of thumb about fish and chip quality and proximity to the seaside. In their review of Alexander's (another Ryde chip shop) they posited: "it seems to be a general truism that to get the best chips, you must simply turn your back on the coast and head inland." So by that prediction, the Little John Eater should be pretty grim. But oddly enough, it isn't. In fact, it's not too bad at all. Matt took his fish-and-chip-reviewing buddies, Bill and Jack, down to the new place to try it out - and they were pleasantly surprised.

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Matt and Cat have a good friend from the West Wight who's a bit of a bon viveur, and who enjoys exchanging notes with them on the latest Island eateries, preferably over a glass of some appropriate quaffage.

Over the years they've discovered a remarkable congruence; the more he denounces a place, the more M and C love it. It never fails. So when, during a recent encounter, the fine fellow hastened to pour the most extravagant scorn on Godshill's Loaves and Fishes restaurant Matt and Cat knew that they had to try it. Read on to see if the magic worked this time!

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There's a theory suggesting that if you sit and wait long enough, everything will come to you.

If this principle has much currency, there have probably been a few gurus on mountaintops waiting for a very long time for a nice fresh fish supper to come along. What they really ought to do is set up a seminary in Chale Green, Nettlestone, Godshill, Niton or St Helens. Then at least they could be sure of the Jolly Fryer mobile fish and chip wagon coming around every week.

Fish and chip aficionado Matt has observed the mobile chippy in various locations across the Island, but never quite managed to catch up with it - usually being near a more traditional, static establishment. But one Saturday evening he made the effort and took junior reviewers Bill and Jack and their pal Toby out to Nettlestone to give the Jolly Fryer a spin.

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What's the way to find good fish and chips on the Isle of Wight? It's simple - follow Matt and Cat's easy guide.

Are you right next to the sea? No good chips here - and no good prices either. Are you within sight of the sea? OK, maybe some edible chips, but keep a hold of your wallet. Within sound of the sea? You might just get something decent. No sign of the sea? Then you're probably on course for a really good fish supper. There are a few exceptions to buck the trend but it seems to be a general truism that to get the best chips, simply you must turn your back on the coast and head inland.

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