It may be the depths of winter now, but imagine the scene: having spent all day on the beach during a rare hot August Bank Holiday, a day-tripping family tidies up their detritus.

Nan is levered out of the deckchair and Dad bounces assiduously on the hissing inflatable banana until it slowly goes flaccid and is packed away. Struggling back up the hill, the whining kids, piebald with suncream, are famished from a long day of throwing sand at each other, and Mum’s thinking with little relish about the prospect of heating up tomato soup on the Camping Gaz stove. Just then, a fish and chip shop comes into view, the tempting aroma of hot oil wafting across the pavement and drawing the hapless tourists unresistingly inside.

If our hypothetical hungry family is in Ryde, they’d do well to stop at the first chippy near Appley beach, Monkton Village’s Chipmunks. Matt and Cat have reviewed that venue favourably, but it is only one of several contenders in the town. The family could maybe step a bit further west. No, no, not to the Codfather, slightly south west and up the hill to Wights. Although a tad more than a hop, skip and jump from the beach, this chippy is well-placed at the junction of Ryde’s precinct, near a pub, cinema and bingo hall - perfect for passing hot-snack-hunters. And so it was that Wights was Matt and Cat’s chosen venue for a fish and chip supper with a visiting relative from London.

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It is often said that the Isle of Wight is England in miniature.

With its castles, tube trains, Neolithic stone monument and Doveresque white cliffs, it’s easy to see why the comparison is made. But it’s not just topographically that the Island reflects the rest of England. Visitors and residents can also experience living history. Admittedly some of the county is almost on a par with the modern world but there are anachronistic pockets. Take Cranmore, for example. Residents of this semi-rural backwater enjoy a peaceful existence, living according to pre-war rules when the Town and Country Planning Act and free dental care were mere jottings on the back of Clem Attlee’s ration book.

Another time-tunnel can be found at Seaview. The village itself perpetuates a charmingly Blytonesque feel; with wholesome children spending their summers in ancestral cottages with Pater and Mummy, Hugo and Phyllida. And within this little corner of England can be found the very epitome of contextual solecism, the Northbank Hotel.

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Visit the website: http://www.northbankhotel.co.uk/

“I can’t see anything down this slipway, it’s pitch black tonight.”

“Well, let’s go down there anyway.”
“Look out, we’re walking into the sea. I’m not gonna do a Reggie Perrin!”
“No, we’re not - look there it is!”
“That’s the public toilets. Let’s just look along here before we give up.”
“Yes, there’s a light! There it is!”
“What, all the way over there?”

This, and much more, was the bumbling progress of Matt and Cat down the starlit promenade at Colwell. Shuffling gingerly along the revetment, they were guided by the welcoming lights of Barefoot on the Beach, Colwell’s latest beachfront venue. This dramatic and satisfying way to arrive made Barefoot seem delightfully remote and exotic - let’s hope it doesn’t get spoilt with garishly illuminated signs and those soppy railings to stop you falling into the sea.

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Due to entirely foreseen circumstances, Matt and Cat found themselves without internet access one clement autumn day.

This enforced Luddism could have inspired a frenzied bout of housework or perhaps baking, but those who know M&C well will already be guffawing at such ridiculous options. No, they decided to embrace their temporary broadband-free existence and where better than at Quarr Abbey – site of a monkishly simple life as long ago as the twelfth century.

The monks at Quarr Abbey have engaged with the Island community for years and, more recently, have increased their profile and perhaps their revenue stream. Their enterprises have included creative ceramics with Brother Alexander Tingay, bookbinding and the tea room. Once a bit of a shack in part of the abbey’s walled garden the café has, with the help of an EU grant, evolved into a decent business venture with the worthy objective of supporting this religious foundation. Will eating at the café become a regular habit?

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Visit the website: http://www.quarrabbey.co.uk/

After another hard day toiling down the corporate salt mine, Matt and Cat were sat in traffic inching their way homewards.

Some might imagine the reviewing duo plotting their next visit to some unwitting restaurant, but nothing could be further from the truth. A typical debate ensued: should they scrape the frost off whatever was in the bottom of the freezer, or stop at the Co-op and play short-dated-stock roulette?

Just then there was a peeping interruption from Cat’s phone. A pal was ringing to see if they’d like to go out for the evening. Go out? For the evening? It seemed the fish fingers were destined to spend another evening buried in Electrolux tundra. Soon the two were standing by the roadside, suited and booted, waiting for a ride to the West Wight. After a sedate drive in a flashy car, the party of three pushed open the exclusive door of The George Hotel, Yarmouth. In the absence of a greeter, they wandered around the historic hotel until they ended up at the restaurant.

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Visit the website: http://thegeorge.co.uk/