There's something fishy going on at the Seaview Hotel - something fishy and good. It's always been a decent place for something to eat, but if you haven't been there in the last year or so, Matt and Cat politely suggest that you rectify that.
Chef Bruce Theobold first cooked for Matt and Cat when he created an excellent 'Beef, Beer and Deer' supper for them for one of their dining club events back in 2014. At the time he was new to the venue, and it seems that a year at the helm has given Bruce the chance to evolve and refine his offering quite significantly.
Recently the hotel was promoting a remarkable 'Focus on Fish' menu, which at £28 for three courses was very keenly priced. Matt and Cat are partial to a bit of fish, so one evening they set off to Seaview to give the new set menu a try.
In the village of Freshwater is the Red Lion, an archetype of the English pub.
It nestles in a photogenic corner of the parish, next to the ancient church of All Saints. For many years it's been a quiet favourite of Matt and Cat; a place where they have enjoyed a pint and a good meal with friends and family. Word on the street is that the pub is under new management so, cranking the handle of Cat's car, they headed west to check it out.
Before they made their way into the pub, Matt and Cat took a stroll down to The Causeway. They, along with several others, leant on the old stone wall and gongoozled at the scenic Yar estuary and the surrounding countryside. It's an almost painfully picturesque scene, with throngs of cyclists, thatched cottages and wildfowl vying for attention.
It was a bit too bracing to loiter around the causeway for long so Matt and Cat decided to hang around the Red Lion's cosy bar instead. Matt enjoyed a welcome pint of Yates' Golden and, as they sipped their drinks, he and Cat studied the specials board while waiting for their friends. It was nice standing at the bar; the place had a friendly atmosphere and, as well as diners, there were locals chatting, some ruddy-faced walkers, and even a couple of well-behaved dogs lurking under the barstools. The Red Lion's recent facelift hadn't removed any of the place's essential charm.
Guinness World Records is an astonishing institution. Under what other circumstances would the oldest ever person, the world's longest human nose and Norma Stitz's ...ahem... assets appear in the same publication?
And how about that perennial favourite world record: how many women can be squeezed into a Mini? What do you think the record is? Five? Ten? Surely no more than that? Well, if you imagine that the Mini is Newport, and the women are coffee shops, how many do you think now?*
With the opening of Starbucks last year Matt and Cat thought the town must've reached peak café. But no. Subway, Nosh, and others have arrived on the scene since then. Only this week the Foundation Bakery re-opened its doors, and still Newport's bulging coffee sack hasn't burst open at the seams. Even the Island's very own UKIP councillor is suggesting that the council should address its £23-million pound deficit with a coffee shop of its own. Nobody is holding their breaths for that. Meanwhile Skintrade, the venerable trendy clothes shop in Newport's St Thomas Square, has diversified into coffee. Matt and Cat climbed the steep winding stairs to the appropriately stylish little café upstairs, and found a sunny world of stripped pine, pews and vintage furniture with great views over the minster and square.
Has anyone opened a café recently that isn't vintage-themed? Is there actually any room in the market for a place where you can just eat a cheese sandwich and not have to be reminded of the joys of rationing, ersatz coffee and lend-lease bacon? Well, of course the answer is yes, and there are plenty. But 1940s nostalgia is most definitely the thing these days, so it is perhaps not surprising that wartime décor is to today's cafés as 1950s American diner-style was to those of the 1990s.
Violet's 1940's café has perhaps more of a justification for this theme than some others as it is set in the heart of Northwood's Conflict History and Remembrance Museum: C.H.A.R.M. This museum is in the process of being assembled, and at the moment its acronym can only be ironic. Visually, the outside of the museum is a windswept yard surrounded by blank industrial units, an array of abandoned caravans and a smattering of military vehicles in various states of restoration. The vehicles are actually a pretty interesting spectacle, but they provide a curious backdrop to lunch.
A Frequently Asked Question of Matt and Cat is 'are you guys really fat?'. Another question in the top ten would be 'where's the best place to eat?'. That question is much harder to answer than the first (which, by the way, is dodged by the statement 'Cat is not a guy').
The best place on the Island to eat depends on many factors: budget, tastes, company and occasion. For example, Matt and Cat would not recommend the same venue to a lively hen night (Moo Cow) as to a family on a budget looking for somewhere to celebrate an elderly lady's birthday (Appley Manor). It should go without saying that a children's party venue has different requirements to a romantic supper for two.
Ahh, a romantic supper for two... As it happens Love is in the Air (according to Clintons), as this review was written just before St Valentine's Day. Militant singletons may sneer at this contrived celebration of love and romance, yet it still must be one of the busiest days in the restaurant calendar. As Dry January putters to a welcome end and pay day has sorted out the worst of the Christmas overspend, people are emerging from their slankets, blinking into the light and going out for dinner.
Matt and Cat, by dint of this website, have enjoyed many, MANY dinners for two and have been making personal Valentine supper recommendations for weeks now, via Twitter, Facebook, emails and even word of mouth. This review was intended to be of the acme of all dinners, where the boat is well and truly pushed out to impress a loved one (or soon-to-be loved one if the protagonist plays his/her cards right). However, the Royal Hotel was booked up for dinner so, M&C decided to have afternoon tea there instead.