Matt and Cat have been part of the Isle of Wight community for many years even if they can't boast actual Caulkhead status. As taxpayers, voters and residents however, they like to think that they are nonetheless entitled to comment on local matters - not just the food. And their simple message to Sandown is this: you can do it.
Not that long ago, Ventnor was in the doldrums; it had ruinous shops and tired venues struggling to survive at the arse-end of the Island. However, what it did have was a fabulous beach. With a bit of tender love and cash, the town reversed its decline and now has a vibrant arts scene, plenty of decent restaurants and, of course, that wonderful beach.
There has been much said about Sandown by 'miserable, whining tightwads', about how the council should do more to help this impoverished town. Of course an injection of moolah could do wonders - how couldn't it? However, like pioneering Ventnor, maybe Sandown could take matters into its own hands. The town has recently been fly-posted by an anonymous campaigner who, by dint of their actions has made the shabby properties look a bit shabbier - even if their dereliction-shaming has been done with the best intentions. Matt and Cat agree that perhaps the property owners could do a bit more to smarten up their own little piece of Sandown, as its clear there's no point holding out for public money.
But it's not all doom and dereliction in Sandown. No, far from it. Yes, a few landmark properties are in a shameful condition, but that beach is still magnificent. M&C have already reviewed a couple of extremely agreeable venues in the past year, the proprietors of which have made considerable investment in their seafront restaurants. They sincerely hope that the arrival of a talent like Ocean Deck's Alan Staley might cause a positive ripple effect in the town, the same way that Robert Thompson did when he won Michelin status for Ventnor's Hambrough.
Just as Newport has become synonymous with coffee shops, Ryde is a place where one is spoilt for choice for a light lunch. There are plenty of sarnie and baguette shops or, if you prefer your nammet enclosed in other ways, you won't have to look far to find a bagel or a wrap. Or maybe you fancy hot tapas, a budget breakfast or perhaps a South African stew, coz they're all available in this Georgian town.
Of course, sometimes only a good old fashioned fry-up will do and, it was with this in mind, that Matt and Cat pushed open the door to Kevar's - in what is poetically described as Ryde Old Town. As the door swung to behind them, Matt and Cat were reminded of their first visit to Kevar's some years back in which they sang the cafe's praises - but with the suggestion that they fix the draughty door. Well, M&C are pleased to report that the door has been well and truly sorted out. Which just leaves the food to comment on.
There's something fishy going on at the Seaview Hotel - something fishy and good. It's always been a decent place for something to eat, but if you haven't been there in the last year or so, Matt and Cat politely suggest that you rectify that.
Chef Bruce Theobold first cooked for Matt and Cat when he created an excellent 'Beef, Beer and Deer' supper for them for one of their dining club events back in 2014. At the time he was new to the venue, and it seems that a year at the helm has given Bruce the chance to evolve and refine his offering quite significantly.
Recently the hotel was promoting a remarkable 'Focus on Fish' menu, which at £28 for three courses was very keenly priced. Matt and Cat are partial to a bit of fish, so one evening they set off to Seaview to give the new set menu a try.
In the village of Freshwater is the Red Lion, an archetype of the English pub.
It nestles in a photogenic corner of the parish, next to the ancient church of All Saints. For many years it's been a quiet favourite of Matt and Cat; a place where they have enjoyed a pint and a good meal with friends and family. Word on the street is that the pub is under new management so, cranking the handle of Cat's car, they headed west to check it out.
Before they made their way into the pub, Matt and Cat took a stroll down to The Causeway. They, along with several others, leant on the old stone wall and gongoozled at the scenic Yar estuary and the surrounding countryside. It's an almost painfully picturesque scene, with throngs of cyclists, thatched cottages and wildfowl vying for attention.
It was a bit too bracing to loiter around the causeway for long so Matt and Cat decided to hang around the Red Lion's cosy bar instead. Matt enjoyed a welcome pint of Yates' Golden and, as they sipped their drinks, he and Cat studied the specials board while waiting for their friends. It was nice standing at the bar; the place had a friendly atmosphere and, as well as diners, there were locals chatting, some ruddy-faced walkers, and even a couple of well-behaved dogs lurking under the barstools. The Red Lion's recent facelift hadn't removed any of the place's essential charm.
Guinness World Records is an astonishing institution. Under what other circumstances would the oldest ever person, the world's longest human nose and Norma Stitz's ...ahem... assets appear in the same publication?
And how about that perennial favourite world record: how many women can be squeezed into a Mini? What do you think the record is? Five? Ten? Surely no more than that? Well, if you imagine that the Mini is Newport, and the women are coffee shops, how many do you think now?*
With the opening of Starbucks last year Matt and Cat thought the town must've reached peak café. But no. Subway, Nosh, and others have arrived on the scene since then. Only this week the Foundation Bakery re-opened its doors, and still Newport's bulging coffee sack hasn't burst open at the seams. Even the Island's very own UKIP councillor is suggesting that the council should address its £23-million pound deficit with a coffee shop of its own. Nobody is holding their breaths for that. Meanwhile Skintrade, the venerable trendy clothes shop in Newport's St Thomas Square, has diversified into coffee. Matt and Cat climbed the steep winding stairs to the appropriately stylish little café upstairs, and found a sunny world of stripped pine, pews and vintage furniture with great views over the minster and square.