Burrs is a small, traditional-looking restaurant positioned away from the tourist-traps of the Island in one of Newport's back-streets. No sea view or historic ambience supplements the experience. Matt and Cat wandered in one evening after a late night at the salt mine, fearful that they might need a reservation. Luckily they didn't, and indeed at first they were the only customers.
The attentive waiter welcomed them and showed his guests to a cosy table at the back of the small dining room. As drinks, menus and the usual initial transactions were undertaken, Matt and Cat began to understand the important differences that set Burrs apart from other establishments. Burrs has rejected the doctrine of 'no-nonsense food' and offers a classy service in the traditional style that borders on the theatrical. Cat was invariably referred to as 'madame' (although she archly said she might have preferred 'mademoiselle'), and she always got the first service. The diners had the offer of having their coats taken - a rare experience these days, although once an invariable part of dining out. The whole performance was most enjoyable. If this is nonsense - bring it on.
It?s all over. The sun has resolutely taken off its hat, brushed it down and stashed it away until next year.
The summer of 2012, with its diamond jubilee, record-breaking rainfall, Olympics and Paralympics is a distant memory. Wenlock has closed his vast single eye and Mandeville?s name is tainted with the scandal of the late Sir Jimmy Savile?s association with his namesake hospital. Also consigned to the past is the day the Olympic torch came to the Isle of Wight.
Like most of the summer, the torch?s national tour was played out with a backdrop of typically British weather; yet the drizzle didn?t stop the crowds from gathering to see one of the eight thousand torches flicker through their neighbourhood. On the day the relay visited the Isle of Wight - passing through Yarmouth to East Cowes before you could say £11,000 pounds well-spent - Matt and Cat somehow missed the entire razzmatazz.
While hosts of their fellow Islanders were gawping ten-deep at joyous but sodden torchbearers, Matt and Cat were snug inside the dining room of Dandelion Café, enjoying the spectacular view of the heritage coast across Freshwater Bay and beyond.
Some people imagine that Matt and Cat are orderly souls; with a neatly-written list of candidate venues to review, fully researched and scheduled in their diaries at regular intervals.
The truth is so far removed from this cosy vision of administrative tidiness that, to be honest, M&C could probably collect the prize for the most chaotic and disorderly food reviewers on the Isle of Wight - if only they could organise themselves to do so.
Take today. When Cat finally woke from her slumbers at mid-morning o?clock, she was told by amnesiac Matt that they had a meeting. In fifteen minutes. Half an hour?s drive away. And he only knew this because his phone had reminded him with one of those nagging but essential beeps. Cat threw on some clothes and tugged a knitted beany hat over her knotted bedhair before driving her and Matt as fast as the speed limit would allow to their rendezvous at the Folly Inn, East Cowes.
They had a pleasant morning catching up with an ex-colleague and Cat, who had not had time for breakfast, subsisted on a vast cup of coffee and all of the tiny complementary almond biscuits that she could snaffle. Their meeting over, M&C decided to visit Waitrose, as they were in the area, to buy some much sought after shelled pistachios. Then it was off to lunch. Or for Cat, her first meal of the day. And this, dear reader, is how they roll.
The Korean pop song Gangnam Style can rightfully boast the world record as the most liked video on YouTube - having been viewed on the video-sharing website over four hundred million eye-boggling times.
More importantly, Shanklin lays claim to being the nation's sunniest place. And zeroing in on what really matters, motorists passing through the tiny hamlet of Yarbridge, near Brading, will not have missed the banner with a proud claim from the Yarbridge Inn as it confidently dubs itself "The number one pub for excellent food in Yarbridge". There'll be no argument from Matt and Cat. It's the only pub in Yarbridge.
Reluctantly pushing semantics aside, Matt and Cat chose to visit the Yarbridge Inn based on a little pre-dinner research on Trip Advisor. The effusive reviews showed that this seemingly modest little pub has "incredible food, fantastic staff, great atmosphere." What's more, "the chef is a dream so everything we ordered was superb". Bold claims indeed. In order to dilute this potentially "incredible" dining experience, M&C went with some friends. Bouncing their car into the moonlit car park, they stood and listened to the passing Islandline train before entering the pub.
Matt and Cat love eating out in Cowes, but they always approach a new review in the town with a certain caution.
It seems that M&C?s style of leavening their articles with impertinence and occasional sarcasm is one that riles Cowes more than any other Island area. They welcome readers weighing in, but it seems as though Cowesians are just a little more trigger-happy with the green ink. Take Matt and Cat's 2011 review of the Little Gloster, for example, which resulted in peevish objections to the use of the words 'gurgler' and 'breathless'. Other Cowes reviews, now thankfully superseded and archived, raised hackles even further. Learned friends were consulted. Strongly-worded letters were despatched to M&C. Not that Matt and Cat pay any attention to that - and, to prove it, recently they were back in Cowes undeterred to venture boldly into what some could perceive as the heartland of trendy yachtiness, the impossibly chic new Moocow in Cross Street.