When Cat first started going out with Matt she did what all new girlfriends do, she introduced him to her pals. So far, so typical. However, one day when she and Matt were out she bumped into one of her mates.
Introductions duly made Cat was shocked when her friend started quizzing Matt in an impudently personal way. The interrogation went something like this: Cat’s friend: “Are you Jewish?” Matt: “Err, no.” Cat’s friend: “Welsh then? No? Are you perhaps a Seikh?”. On it went as she rolodexed through a lexicon of swarthy nationals. Eventually she admitted defeat and accepted Sussex-born as the definitive answer. By this time Cat was feeling awkward about this persistent badgering and Matt was just bemused.
Fast forward a decade and the same scenario was being played out again in Dalyan Kebab House, Shanklin. After a particularly entertaining night at Shanklin Theatre, Matt decided to wrap up the evening with meat. Cat followed him into the welcoming warmth of the kebab house and heard the following discussion: Kebab man to Matt: “Hey. Where are you from?” Matt: “Er... we’ve just been to Shanklin Theatre.” KM: “No, I mean where are you from?” Matt: “Ryde” KM: “NO, I mean originally?” Matt: “Sandown.”. And so it went. The chap was convinced that Matt was Turkish - something about his slightly disheveled appearance and bulk apparently marked him out as Middle Eastern. Matt was flattered but unable to admit to anything other than English ancestry. The Dalyan chap even called his mate out from the back to have a look at him. Through her giggles Cat confirmed that Matt wasn’t Southern European, Jewish (at least last time she looked) nor Welsh nor a Seikh. With that matter cleared up - although the kebab bloke did not seem entirely convinced - it was time to order some late night snackage.
The other day Matt and Cat were on the terrace of the Spyglass Inn, in Ventnor.
As they enjoyed the view of the English Channel they pondered how many other pubs could actually boast such an awesome south-facing shore-side position. Think hard folks, because that’s what Matt and Cat did. And, do you know what? They couldn’t think of one pub other than the Spyglass that is within a stone's throw of the beach on the south side of the Island. Sure the Sun Inn, Hulverstone and Chale's Wight Mouse both have spectacular views across the heritage coast but you'll never be bothered by salty spray at either of these rural venues.
The Buddle Inn at Niton Undercliff was only likely candidate. Its website trumpets hopefully that it "boasts unrivalled views of the English channel". So, to put this to the test, Matt and Cat bowled along there and parked in the little car park which did indeed have pretty good views across the sea. They sat for a few moments and enjoyed this vista, listening to the sound of the waves pestering the shore far below. But after a short stroll down the hill towards the scenic rocks and spectacular lighthouse of St Catherine's Point, they realised that the Buddle is not that near to the shore really. And in fact, the best view - and it is a good one - is to be had from the Buddle car park, albeit that it was shared with an old camper van and a derelict BMW. So having got the best of the view, Matt and Cat ambled back up to see what the pub’s food was like.
By Malcolm Alder-Smith, Island chef and author. Classically trained as a chef by French, Italian and Swiss master chefs, Malcy trains UKSA Marine Hospitality students in the kitchens of The Isle of Wight College; and is author of the popular The Marine Cookery Bible.
I’m not sure who spotted The Hambrough's potential first back in 2008. Whether it was Robert Thompson or his successful sailing-enthusiast backer Kevin Sussmilch, it was a brilliant piece of opportunism. Robert's boyish good looks and shy manner were a marketeer’s dream of a perfect front man. Who will forget Julian Winslow's iconic photo of Robert, appearing to spring forth from the ocean floor brandishing a freshly 'caught' sea bass? TV food critic Jay Rayner in 2007 recognised Robert as “a chef to watch in the future.” So I have to ask why, after nearly five years with one Michelin Star has he not achieved a second?
The Foundation Bakery is the latest venue to jostle for a place in Newport’s crowded lunchtime market.
Just when things seemed to have reached a critical mass with the arrival of national coffee outlet Costa Coffee, and rumours of Subway's imminent arrival finally confirmed, the bakery too has opened its doors to those seeking light refreshments.
The café has taken shape inside a disused furniture store on the periphery of Newport's main drag. However, Matt and Cat aren’t necessarily seduced by a prime town centre location; some of the best places to eat are worth that extra step. Take the Isobel Centre; although it’s far from the beaten track in the heart of Pan, it's well worth the diversion. Similarly the John Cheverton Centre provides a tranquil spot for a light lunch and delicious cake. But what have these venues and the Foundation Bakery got in common that may help them keep buoyant in these uncertain times?
Unlike Newport's commercial lunchtime offers such as Matt and Cat's favoured haunt the Blue Door Café, the Issy, JC and Foundation Bakery are supported by public money, charitable donations or philanthropy. Most businesses can benefit from a financial leg-up (some of the Island's most prestigious venues have silent benefactors) and the charitable ones are, by their very nature, supported through the munificence of others. At both the Isobel and John Cheverton Centres, Matt and Cat have had the pleasure of being served homemade cake by charming volunteers in clean and pleasant surroundings. Would the Foundation Bakery be able to complete the hat trick?
Think back to your childhood, and one of those family days out to meet the relatives. If you're anything like Matt and Cat, such a visit would have either been the best thing ever, or a dismal chore that nobody looked forward to. Some relatives always seemed to be worth the journey - others you just knew would be a bore.
That's the way it is with re-reviews, too. Matt and Cat have been buzzing around commenting on their dinners since 2005, and so some of their reviews are admittedly a bit long in the tooth. But there are a few that just keep on getting put off. Falling into this category is the Hare and Hounds. A big family dining pub, at a focal location, the place should have everything going for it. On top of that, it was a venue with good memories for Matt, who spent happy teenage evenings propping up the bar and sipping daringly on Watney's Red Barrel. When they first reviewed it back in 2007, Matt and Cat found the Hare and Hounds to be satisfactory, if uninspiring.
In subsequent years, comments on their review showed a consistent rising tide of disapproval - remarks such as "the worst the Island has to offer"; "VILE"; and "AVOID AT ALL COSTS!" Even stalwart commenter da yw wyth - normally the most temperate of critics - was moved to say "the main let-down was the food itself". It was perhaps to be expected then, that Matt and Cat somehow didn't get around to making a revisit themselves. Clearly things were not going well at the Hare and Hounds, and it was no surprise when it closed down in late 2012 for a major refurbishment. But what would the new incarnation be? Could hospitality behemoth Greene King turn the pub around? Soon after it reopened, a few comments seemed to suggest that it had - and da yw wyth said "the refurbishment certainly has made a gigantic difference!" That was enough for M&C, and they were finally galvanised to make that long overdue revisit to the Island's highest pub.