Ah, Ventnor. Yes, the magical town where unicorns roam across the sparkling beach; and pixies giggle behind every corner. Or something.

The Guardian pronounces "the place feels apart from the Isle of Wight, let alone the UK". The Telegraph dashes up to claim "Ventnor has got its va-va-voom back". Every street is cluttered by rubbernecking DFLs clutching cuttings from Sunday supplements. Locals waft by in clouds of patchouli and wind chimes, distinctive in hand-tooled sandals and flowing garments. One thing has long been missing from this idyll: a curry house. But now the picture is complete - Chutney Express has opened on Ventnor High Street, providing not only a take-away service but a small restaurant too. Matt and Cat, keen Indian fans, paid it a visit.

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Bring to mind, if you will, the Archbishop of Canterbury's Special Envoy Terry Waite; Our Very Own Frankie Howerd; and Robert Thompson The Hambrough. Institutions that have all acquired titles with words inextricably linked together.

Sometimes food writers seem overly obsessed with who cooks their food. Matt and Cat usually don't feel the need to find out, but sometimes you just can't avoid it. The Hambrough in Ventnor has placed the famous chef's name above the title to create Robert Thompson The Hambrough. This has set the Isle of Wight a-twitter; with breathless tributes to this talented young man coming thick and fast. And it's far from empty hype: the Michelin judges awarded Thompson's restaurant a coveted star.

Matt and Cat could hardly miss out on this opportunity. Neither had eaten Michelin-starred food before, and they decided it was time to do so. So Matt had a shave, Cat put on a skirt and, having scraped a dead fly from the windscreen of the BMW, they made their way to Ventnor's Robert Thompson The Hambrough restaurant.

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Visit the website: http://www.thehambrough.com/

If the Isle of Wight is twenty years behind the mainland then in 1989, the north island must have been awash with trendy tapas bars, cheap carveries and boutique Indian restaurants.

Matt and Cat are pleased that the Island may be in a time warp - perhaps this little oasis will buck the national trends of redundancies and property slump. Certainly the number of new eateries has shown no sign of diminishing.

Joining the plethora of new venues is the Island Deli, one of three delicatessens in the small seaside town of Ventnor. Ryde - the Island's largest town - could do with a shop where M and C might purchase supplements to their extravagant diet; olives, local cheese, maybe home-made jam. However, they're not afraid to go south in search of such fine fare and, following a bracing walk along the Canute-style sea defences on the Ventnor coastline, they stopped at the Island Deli for some refreshment.

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Visit the website: http://www.theislanddeli.com/

Matt and Cat have a good friend from the West Wight who's a bit of a bon viveur, and who enjoys exchanging notes with them on the latest Island eateries, preferably over a glass of some appropriate quaffage.

Over the years they've discovered a remarkable congruence; the more he denounces a place, the more M and C love it. It never fails. So when, during a recent encounter, the fine fellow hastened to pour the most extravagant scorn on Godshill's Loaves and Fishes restaurant Matt and Cat knew that they had to try it. Read on to see if the magic worked this time!

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"Are you guys really fat?" asks Matt and Cat reader Alex. Well, yes and no. However, with all this conspicuous calorie consumption something may have to give.

Either M and C's purse will succumb to the misery that is the credit crunch or their tummies will finally lose their elasticity.

It's surprising that Matt and Cat had not visited Niton's White Lion before. The number of rural hostelries in the area is pretty small and M and C have ticked most off their list. Many years ago, The Cat had a very nice meal in the dining room of this pleasant country pub - a brace of Quorn fillets in a delightful lemon and pepper sauce. A year or so later, hoping to re-experience this good chow, she was disappointed to find that the chef or owner had changed and the tuck was not up to the previous standard. However, all this was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Matt and Cat, having put aside Cat's preconceptions from the days of yore, entered the pub to find that it was a completely different experience again.

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