Warren Farm, Totland Bay

Matt and Cat are not morning people, preferring instead to spend their weekends lolling under the duvet for as long as possible.

Pleasant though this is, it can lead to meal synchronisation issues. For when Matt and Cat are eating their breakfast, the rest of the population is gearing up for lunch. By the time M and C are thinking about lunch, it's mid-afternoon and many places have stopped serving. And so, on a sunny Saturday, this tragedy of mis-timing played itself out yet again.

Their chops flapping in the breeze of the car's open windows, Matt and Cat headed purposefully to the West Wight. This time they were going to eat their lunch in a timely manner. But, like a pair of babies shown a particularly enticing rattle, their attention was refocused onto the new and mighty cleft in the Military Road. And, like this picturesque highway, M and C's intentions fell by the wayside.

Review continues:

Along with dozens of other rubberneckers, the duo gawped at this incipient chine from both the cliff edge and the beach below. Fortunately the tide was on its way out and M and C, both first-time visitors to Brook beach, dawdled along taking photos of the newly-revealed geology and skimming flat stones into the sea.

Cream tea at Warren Farm

The grassy top of the soft cliff was teaming with the larva of one of the Island's rarest protected invertebrates, the Glanville fritillary. So, on their way back to the car, more dilly-dallying ensued as both Matt and Cat crouched fascinated over these wriggling woolly caterpillers. All of this pointing and looking had finally given Matt his lunchtime appetite so they reluctantly left the cliff and continued their journey westwards.

Matt and Cat's bill
2 x cream teas £9.60

The last time Matt and Cat had Warren Farm in their sights it was closed and they were compelled to make do with the offerings of the Needles Pleasure Park. This time round they were in luck; the tea shop was open. Parking the wagon next to a pen containing a sleeping pig, they dusted themselves down, ready to eat a light lunch. Alas, once again, they were too late for a baked potato or a sandwich. Fortunately they wouldn't go hungry as cream teas were still available. All was not lost!

The meal dispensary at Warren Farm had a familiar look about it; prospective diners queued at a small hatch, gave their order and, after a short wait, took away their meal on a tray. Of course! The tea shop had taken the internationally successful model of the drive-in and applied it to the delivery of cream teas!

Taking their laden tray, Matt and Cat found a sunny seat in the nearby tea garden. For less clement days there was a walled patio and, for when the weather was really nasty, there was undercover seating. But like the rest of this busy little cafe's punters, M&C chose to sit outside at a table facing Headon Warren.

Examination of the tray's contents showed that the comparison to a drive-in was at an end. Nowhere else in the developed world would you be served food from a hatch on a willow-pattern plate with a doily and the daintiest butter knives. Ramekins of clotted cream and strawberry jam (interestingly no butter) waited patiently to be smeared on the big white scones - two apiece. Tea in a pot, cups and saucers, a jug of milk plus a pot of hot water completed this manna. Topped up at regular intervals, the tea pot was the gift that kept on giving. Piled high with flavoursome jam and cream the scones were so vast and fluffy that Cat, queen of the cream tea, could not finish her second one and Matt had to do his duty.

As there were no planes in the sky, the only sounds to be heard was the occasional chink of china and the indifferent caw of some distant jackdaws. Supping their tea, Matt and Cat gazed across the valley and felt contented.


 
 

Visit the website: http://www.farmhousecreamteas.co.uk/creamteas.htm

PermalinkPublished: 19th April 2010
7920 views
Categories: We like, Cafes, Family friendly, West Wight

8 comments

Comment from: Reeny
Your review took me right back to a sunny day last summer, when we first found this place. The garden is peaceful and has a beautiful outlook, it's the perfect place to sit back and relax. We loved the goats that come up to you (behind a fence!) on the way back to the car park. You really could spend ages here!

Our cream tea was one of the best we've had. We shall return!
20/04/10 @ 09:00
Comment from: David D. Ballard
One of the best cream teas on the Island. And all you need as an excuse is a gentle walk from Freshwater Bay. Served correctly (no butter)... and I don't mind the small hatch, it must help when the weather is cool and/or wet. But I agree, a more open and covered serving area is one point of possible improvement. Expensive though. Maybe we should just enjoy the rustic charm. Old fashioned in a very, very good way. We like it lots.
20/04/10 @ 15:39
Comment from: Da yw Wyth
Glad you finally made it! As far as I'm concerned the small hatch and the (sometimes) long queues are simply part of the charm of the place, and I for one would be manning the barricades if any changes to this were ever on the cards!!
23/04/10 @ 07:32
Comment from: piwakawaka
Glad you made it there. Warren Farm is just the best. Who could ask for a better setting & the cream tea matches it for splendour. One of the best places on the Island.
25/04/10 @ 18:22
Comment from: ALISON W
We have been visiting this venue ever since it opened over 10 years ago, and it is still the best cream tea on the island! Especially with home made jam and local clotted cream. We have always found that prices seem to be similar wherever you go, but quality varies dramatically (don't get me started...!) - this one's at the top of the pile by far
03/10/10 @ 16:48
Comment from: C & R
Thank you for your review which allowed us to find this place. Possibly the best sandwiches and cream teas we have tasted. The staff were lovely and very courteous. They had actually stopped serving sandwiches bybthe time we arrived but happily made some up for us while we waited...and they were worth the wait. They even did their best to make a cup of coffee for our three year old daughter exactly the way she likes it (made with warm milk, a tiny bit if coffee and plenty of sugar!) Sitting outside in the sunshine and fresh air, it was an experience that will be remembered very fondly until our next visit. Even our three year old coffee lover can't wait to return!
16/02/11 @ 22:10
Comment from: Paul Heathcote Email
Before leaving for a week's holiday staying on the West of the Island, I had a look at a few of Matt and Cat's recomendations and made a note of Warren Farm as a good candidate for a sunny day. Luckily the first day of the holiday was sunny, so after a trip to the Needles and the usual touristy bits, we made a brief detour, and were so glad we did.
My wife and I both opted for the cream tea, whilst my daughter's eyes nearly popped out when her milkshake arrived, it was so big! The cream tea was fantastic - 2 massive scones with cream and jam, and a huge pot of tea that hit the spot perfectly. The sconeswere so big neaither of us could finish two, and we're not known for little appetites!
The first trip was such a success that we made another trip a few days later - this turn to try out the home-made cakes! I can thoroughly recommend the warm apple cake with clotted cream - even better than the cream tea in my opinion.

If you go to one place this summer, go here!
05/08/11 @ 18:38
Comment from: Lesley-Anne Radcliffe
Best cream tea I've had on the Island in over 3 years of living here. I make a reasonable scone myself and pride myself on my preserves, but this was every bit as good as homemade because, obviously it is homemade! Lovely location and we enjoyed looking around the little gift shop that stocked inexpensive gifts and is a little treasure trove for children to explore. Well done Warren Farm. Only one tiny criticism, the clotted cream should be made from Guernsey or Jersey milk to give it more taste - come on Briddlesford Lodge, step up to the plate and make some clotted cream from your gorgeous milk, then circulate it around the Island. What a winner that would be!
05/09/11 @ 14:25

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