Smuggler's Haven, Bonchurch

Smuggler's Haven, Bonchurch landslip

The Landslip at Bonchurch is an intriguing place, describing itself on an old sign as an historic pleasure park. It is a vertiginous jungle with windy paths, rocky outcrops and precipitous steps. If you have the energy for an aerobic hike about this landscape then you will do well to treat yourself to a cream tea at the spectacularly positioned Smuggler's Haven cafe. Which is exactly what your reviewers did one pleasant afternoon in October.

Having panted up and down this wildly undulating landscape, from the beach at Luccombe and up the spectacularly claustrophobia-inducing Devil's Chimney, Matt and Cat headed for the only refreshments for miles around. Despite the wide selection of food available, such as traditional cafe fare including egg and chips plus a wide variety of filled sandwiches, M and C had their hearts set on cream tea.

Review continues:

The cafe is in the traditional style, and its little tables, lino floor and old-fashioned tea urn were all very smart and clean. It even sells a few souvenirs, and, like much of Ventnor, is pleasantly reminiscent of a bygone, more innocent age of tourism.

Served by a friendly chap with a pleasingly heavy hand when it came to doling out the jam and cream, a tray of tea for two soon appeared. Your reviewers took advantage of what may have been the last warm Sunday of the year and sat on the cafe's terrace with its panoramic views of the English Channel.

The cream tea was reasonable value for money (£3.50 per head) - there was plenty of jam and cream and, with judicious use of a generous pot of hot water, their teapot never ran dry. There was an adequate supply of real milk given, with no need to ask for more. The scones were dry and crumbly, though not excessively so, and had an unexpected, but not unpleasant, taste of allspice or cinnamon about them. With this welcome injection of sugar, carbohydrates and plenty of tea, your reviewers were well prepared to tackle a further section of the Landslip's unique and challenging landscape.


 
 
PermalinkPublished: 8th October 2006
3949 views
Categories: We like, Cafes, Family friendly, Ventnor area, Tea shops

7 comments

Comment from: Steve and Qiu Email
A fantastic place to visit and enjoy delicious home cooked cakes , and generous amounts of very good tea and coffee... We stopped by on our bikes for a few minutes , but couldn't resist staying much longer to enjoy the lovely food and friendly atmosphere...
21/10/06 @ 21:16
Comment from: John & Janet
We called in here a couple of times as we were billetted a short walk away.
An excellent establishment, and agree that you could believe that it has'nt changed in perhaps the last 60 years - and thats a good thing. After the long uphill haul back from Ventnor we called in for tea, it had started to rain but we wanted to be outside. The thoughtful proprietor provided a parasol as shelter and we sat out on our own in the rain, looking out over the channel. It was magic.
05/07/08 @ 19:40
Comment from: Rainbow
I love this place- gorgeous channel views, delicious Ventnor bay crab sandwiches, generous pot of tea and (the best bit) the most wonderful home-made bread pudding I've ever had the good fortune to sample! I shall be back.
26/04/09 @ 19:30
Comment from: Norfolk Nick
Stopped for a snack & ice cream break here last week.

The kids had a bowl of chips each (£1.95) – OK (frozen chips deep fried) but very small portions.

My wife enjoyed her coffee & cake and said she would come back.....praise indeed from the cake chomping monster (if only I could stay as slim as her!!).

Really stunning location with fantastic views across the sea. I could have stayed there all day just watching the ships go by.......you lucky locals!

For all you tourists out there this one is a must!
18/08/09 @ 21:22
Comment from: Reeny
We stopped here yesterday in the hope of having a nice coffee and a scone. The views are lovely from the outside area, I wish I could say the same about the inside. I nearly decided to go somewhere else when I walked into the cramped cafe to order our drinks etc. Although the coffee was poured from a filter jug it tasted like awful cheap instant. The scones on display did not look home made, but tiny, tired and dry, which matched how they tasted. There was a healthy serving of cream to go with the jam for the scone which made it edible, but not worth returning for.
30/08/09 @ 22:00
Comment from: Ventnor Lass
This is my favourite cafe. The views are amazing the owners are friendly and helpful and the homemade scones are wonderful. The rock cakes cannot be equalled anywhere. It may be small but that is part of its charm. I can wholeheartedly recommend it.
22/07/10 @ 20:10
Comment from: Alex
I love this place and have used it for more years than I care to remember, She makes the most wonderful blackberry and apple pies (sadly sold out on my last visit). My dog always has two sausages which she brings out cut up in a plastic container - an important consideration! Basic food, but sometimes that is just what is needed in a pit stop half way though a walk.

I hope it never changes.
04/09/11 @ 21:45

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