Situated underneath the cinema, this venue has been a powerful draw for film-loving Cat and her doughty consort. For many years it was also the only pizza parlour on the Island, and during that time, for both these reasons, M & C spent perhaps more time than they should within the walls of Pizza Hut. Free refills of drinks, good meal deals, and reasonably quick service are all plus points.

However, things have changed. For one thing, there is now the vastly superior albeit costlier Pizza Express just a stone's-throw away. For another, Matt and Cat are fed up with Pizza Hut. It's cheap. Yes, let's get that over with. It really is cheap. But in this respect cheap must be taken in the fullest sense. The meat on the pizza is not dissimilar to Friskies (yes, Matt does know this to be true). The pizzas seem greasy. The staff try very hard but generally they are rushing about without enough time to really give any service. Much of the self-service salad is really not very nice, and the bowls it comes in are pitifully small. The all-you-can-eat ice cream machine makes you stuff yourself with sweets until you feel sick - well, actually that last one is probably not their fault. But that's what happens.

The last time your reviewers ate at Pizza Hut Newport, they were shown to a table with a dead fly on it. Their waitress, on returning with drinks, was introduced to the deceased - having not noticed it the first time. She was apologetic, and once the party had said a few appropriate words, she took it away. It did not appear on the bill. However she did say 'they fall out of the air conditioning', and showed them the duct emerging above the table. Sure enough, later on in the meal a dusting of what might have been black pepper appeared on the table where previously had been nothing. Apparently a second fly didn't make it through the system unscathed. That, dear readers, was why it was the last time they ate there.